Date #14: Cheerios and Special K with Bananas, Peanut Butter, and Chocolate Syrup

Oh, it was good. The date, the cereal bar, my cereal concoction – all of it. It was a nice little package of good. Finally. So let’s get to it…

JuJu Cereal Bar was adorable. Their overwhelming selection includes, I don’t know, 40 or so cereals, from shredded wheat to Fruity Pebbles, toppings from fresh fruit to candy bar crumbles to cake frosting, and at least 7 varieties of milk from various sources with a range of fat content and flavorings. I was supremely satisfied with my choice of Fiber 1 and Cocoa Puffs with strawberries, bananas, yogurt chips, and soy milk, and my date quite enjoyed his combo as well. The peanut butter concept was a hard one for me to get behind, but I’m told it dissolves into the milk, creating a peanut butter-flavored milk-like experience, which I guess makes sense. But the date…

Cheerios and Special K with Bananas, Peanut Butter, and Chocolate Syrup is what I might describe (in fact, have) as a big, hairy Jew. In a good way. He’s not a supermodel (hey, neither am I), but he’s not offensive to look at, either. Methinks that, were he to pluck his threatening unibrow and drop a few LBs, in fact he’d be quite adorable. He’s a little gorillaish, and the kind of guy who probably sweats a lot (though he remained perspiration-free for the duration of our date), but also owns it and uses it for comedic purposes, which I can appreciate.

Cheerios and Special K with Bananas, Peanut Butter, and Chocolate Syrup (which I’ll abbreviate to CASKWBPBACS) is originally from L.A. and went to college on the east coast. He realized that he hated law school on the very first day, but stuck it out and graduated anyway, which is a little incomprehensible to me but respectable nonetheless. He sat for the bar at his parents’ request, which he passed, and then promptly fell into writing. He makes his living in the realm of online journalism, but his preferred writing form is “creative non-fiction” essays akin to David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. In fact, he “accidentally” wrote a book (funny, that’s never accidentally happened to me) which he’s now revising and editing with the help of a literary agent.

CASKWBPBACS is close with his family (his dad, he reports, looks like Winnie the Pooh), and enjoys telling elaborate tales. He is frequently introduced as a liar by his sister because of one notorious story involving him and his father preventing a midget from committing suicide out of the emergency exit on a flight from Dallas to Los Angeles. The incident of a spider monkey stealing his banana daiquiri while he was playing intoxicated, bilingual Scrabble during a rainstorm in Nicaragua, however, is entirely true, he insists. And knowing what I do about sticky-fingered monkeys, I’m inclined to believe him.

CASKWBPBACS is well-traveled, having spent a year between undergrad and law school backpacking around the world, and there’s no where he wouldn’t want to go. Except Florida - it’s too fucked up. (He’s been many times and continues to go, mind you, he just wouldn’t want to.) CASKWBPBACS likes Friends, knows nothing about music, and isn’t frequently inebriated but believes himself to be an “affable drunk.” (Good to know, because if I’m going to have to deal with drunkenness, that’s the kind I’d order.) He's also the self-proclaimed "king of the parenthetical." (Nothing wrong with a good parenthetical. And while we're laying regal claim on grammatical elements, can I be the princess of ellipses? I don't think I'm ready for queendom yet, but I do love me some dot-dot-dots...)

In an unprecedented occurence, 2 ½ hours after meeting, I volunteered my phone number to CASKWBPBACS and we came frighteningly close to a high five upon my admission that I’m really “not much of a phone person” – neither is he. He texted the next day. I do believe I'll be seeing CASKWBPBACS again; I don’t believe cereal will be required.