Date #16: Special K Red Berries

The fellas, they do like them some Special K. Special K Red Berries comes to us from Craigslist, wooing me with this response to my post:

“Hello Cereal Afficionado, I have been waiting for what seems like ages for someone to invite me to a cereal outing. As it happens, I live directly across from the Farmer’s Market/Grove. In case you choose to accept this mission, I am 28 and look conspicuously like the photos attached to this email.”

Well wait no longer my flake-loving friend, I deem this mission possible.

The first of the aforementioned photos depicts Special K Red Berries slouching in a 70s-inspired leather jacket the exact color of now-defunct tan M&Ms. The second is an artsy, mySpacey headshot of him looking longingly over his shoulder into the distance. Kinda like something I could see U.S. Figure Skating champion Johnny “I make my own unitards” Weir posing for, if that means anything to you. (And if it doesn’t, it sure as hell should.) But sure, he looks like someone I’d be willing to eat cereal with.

Interestingly enough, he didn’t really look all that much like those attached photos in person. The resemblance might have been closer if, say, the photos gained fifty pounds on anti-depressants, forgot to shower, and threw on a Tool t-shirt. But that was just my initial reaction. My subsequent reaction was to wonder if Special K Red Berries was gay. Or if even he knew. But hey, that’s just me. And him, of course. And his slight lisp.

I got the impression that Special K Red Berries is pretty smart from the intellectual-sounding books he reads and the fact that he’s a computer/website programmer and casually getting his degree in computer science in his spare time. Not surprisingly, however, this did not translate into scintillating cereal conversation. It was 70 long minutes punctuated with droplets of his sweat, extended bouts of silence, longing gazes at the patrons around us, and, finally, a substantial discussion about the importance of both organization and communication in the workplace. That’s right. Organization. In the workplace.

Special K Red Berries is an introvert, lives alone, and doesn’t have a car. He’s not much of a TV person and enjoys reading the “Missed Connections” postings on Craigslist for entertainment. Nice guy, though.

When I eventually deemed our final, record-breaking conversational lull sufficient reason to break free, he asked if we should keep in contact. Seriously? Because we could barely manage to maintain contact while sharing a table and what many might consider a meal for the past hour. But sure, whatever. Email me.

And because I know you’re perched on the edge of your seat for this bit: nothing new with CASKWBPBACS, but I’ll probably see him next weekend.